ambivalence

merriam-webster defines ambivalence:

1) simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action

2)a : continual fluctuation (as between one thing and its opposite) b : uncertainty as to which approach to follow

 

 

 

as i sit in my bedroom, the bedroom i’ve slept in for the past 10 years, in the house that i’ve lived in for 18 of my 23 years of age, I feel an ambivalence… a sense of wanting and not wanting to leave home.

I’m certain of my wish to leave, I’m a 100% sure of how much I love him and that things will turn out just fine for us… but at the same time, I fear leaving my mom and dad.

 

I’ll miss home, that’s for sure, but I’ve got to fly solo now…

 

It’s funny, I’m always saying that I’d love to live in another city/country for a while, but I’m having such a hard time leaving a kilometre away to an apartment in this city….  don’t tell anibody